Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
