I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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