Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
