Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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