HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
