He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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