My sheets look like a crime scene.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Farmville is her only friend.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
