I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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