my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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