thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
