We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
