i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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