***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
