They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
is it fun? or sober?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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