giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
