i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
