So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
