I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
