Already got asked if we're dating
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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