one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
