I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
