"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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