I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
