It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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