You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
