all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
