We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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