You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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