quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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