I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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