Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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