how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
