when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
