I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
