He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
