I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
