4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
