I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
