i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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