Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
