Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
