I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
