toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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