Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
