Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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