What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize