Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
