Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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