i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
