So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
