My friends, they love my intelligence
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
