Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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