I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
