What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
