these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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