Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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