I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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